I Just Don't Know

August is almost over.  I'm really not sure where it went.  It seemed like it was going along at a reasonable rate.  I was keeping track very nicely.  Next thing I knew it had vanished.  Seriously, life just kind of imploded on me.  Now it's almost September, and I have absolutely zero to show for it.  What the heck?

The technology experiment is still going well.  The kids had tablets and such for Saturday and part of Sunday.  The transformation was almost immediate.  I had to get on them about being short with one another.  The yelling started back up.  Yeah, I'm not a fan.  It would seem that they have zero patience for much of anything when they are on the internet or playing games.  After they got back from hanging with their dad (I had already taken the tablets away by then), they were much better. 

Honestly, if I could simply say no to the use of any of it at all, I would.  They do need the computer for some of their homework, and to research and whatnot.  I don't know.  The people living in my home are so much more fun and light hearted without the gadgets.  It's almost as if technology puts a weight on them that they don't have when not using it.  Example:  homework with technology in the room becomes soooooo much more drama filled.  Without it, there has been laughter involved.  I don't get it.  I'm going to continue with this experiment, but so far I am really enjoying the results.

It was gross today.  All rainy and humid.  Not horrible, but still gross.  I made soup.  Chicken noodle.  It was very chickeny.  Seriously, it was yum.  The kids enjoyed it.  Even the one that never seems to eat anything (I caught her eating cosmic brownie in the pantry, which irritated me a bit) at some of it.  Could be because I told her that she had to eat some of it.  I dunno.  It made me happy.  And the older one has enough to take for lunch tomorrow.  Always a bonus.  It isn't quite cool enough out to be thinking of those lovely stick to your ribs meals just yet.  Soon.  Yes, soon.

As the days start getting shorter, and the temps start to drop, what are some of your go to recipes for dinner?  I have an Instant Pot, so I can use that.  I also have a crock pot, but the IP seems to do the same thing.  I'm really not big on messing up my oven, so try to avoid splattery things in there.  Share those recipes!!

Experiment

My kids are like every other kid in the free world.  They have tablets, cell phones, computers.  They never seem to make true eye contact.  I get a lot of mumbled replies to questions, and I see a lot of the tops of their heads.  It's frustrating.

Last school year they would get lost while doing homework.  By lost, I mean that something that should take half an hour would take two or more hours to complete.  Turned out they were playing online.  Go figure.  This year I decided that would change.

School started this past Monday.  As my kids are all junior high and high school, they all have homework.  On Sunday they had to hand me all of the technology.  All of it.  The very helpful part was that neither school (junior high and high schools) allow cells use during school hours.  They have to be turned off and put away.  The junior high even added 3 new phones to the hallways in case kids needed to call home after school or practice.  They don't need the technology for math - they all are required to have actual calculators. 

This has probably been one of the best things I've ever done.  Well, so far, anyway.  The homework is actually getting finished.  I think the longest amount of time has been an hour, and that was because the high schooler didn't do her summer reading, so she had to finish a book.  All work is actually finished and turn in ready, which is a miracle all in itself.  They are required, by me, to keep a planner, and show me said planner on the daily.  I've had meaningful conversation with my kids.  There is joking, laughter, and kept bedtimes.  No looking at things until the wee hours.  It's amazing.

I will allow them to have some time Saturday to play on the technology if they want to catch up with friends or whatever.  My hope is that they won't be on it for long because it either doesn't hold their interest, or it hurts their eyes-head-neck.  I'm doubting that, but you never know.  The stuff will come back to me Sunday, and we will start over again.  I would really like for them to start interacting with their world in a positive way.  With luck, maybe they can spread that to their friends.  I grew up without this stuff, and enjoyed myself creatively outside of my inner bubble.  Maybe that's part of the issue with people these days.  I don't know, but it's worth the effort to try.

Did I mention that this has been one of the most seamless transitions back to school?  It's scary, really.

Have a great one!

Time Got Away

I'm a bad blogger.  I have every intention of posting on the regular.  What happens after I tell myself that is beyond me.  You'd think it would be an easy thing.  Especially since I enjoy talking to myself, which is what a blog is.  So here I am, trying again.  There will be no promises this time, but I will try.  Not that I think anybody is actually reading this, but you never can tell.  Put a comment if you are, though.  I'd love to hear from you!

Summer went by way fast.  As in I was just making plans to do something, and realized that school starts on Monday.  What the hell?  My teens were involved in summer theater, and that made the entire months of June and July slip by.  We also moved, so that messed with the timeline.  By the time I had a chance to catch my breath it was August!  I slept in for the first time this summer just two weeks ago.  That is NOT okay.  Now I have to get up at the ass crack because I have to drive my kids to school.  Oy.

I made the choice to seriously step out of my comfort zone.  Not that I don't get forced to do that all of the time, but this time I made the effort.  Two things changed. 

    One:  We lived in the ghetto.  Seriously.  I'm not even kidding when I say there were shootings in my neighborhood, often behind my home, at least three times a week.  We lived in constant high alert.  I started having panic attacks.  The problem is that it was familiar.  I hate moving, and at least this was an evil that I knew.  The panic was too much, and I found us an apartment in a safe area.  My only issue was that rent was much higher, and I was adding utility bills (those had been covered before).  I wasn't sure how this would pan out, but it did.  Even with my lower income and working for myself.  Add that I didn't work even half of last year because of health.  I still was approved and we left the Bluff.  I sleep pretty deep at night.  It's glorious.

    Two:  I want/need to bring in more income.  I need a place to do massage that is safe.  I could do it out of my home, but I don't want strangers around my kids.  Plus, it's my happy place.  I don't really want to mix work and home like that.  I could travel out to my clients homes.  A lot of therapists do this.  It's legit, but it's not that safe.  You have to be very picky about it.  I can't control the environment at someone else's place.  Pets, setup space, etc.  I'm not fond of the idea. 

             Well, a friend of mine told me about a space in the mall that rents out desks, conference rooms, and the like.  I finally went in and talked to the lady that owns it.  She's got perfect places for me to rent for a good price.  I'm really excited about this.  This could be a total game changer for me.  My first goal is to not need any of my child support to live.  Eventually that will go away, and I don't want to need it.  Second, I'd like to be able to save money for fun things.  To do either of these goals, I need more income.  This step should totally get me to that place.  Yay for goals, and yay for pushing myself to actually do it.  I'm actually pretty excited about this part of my future.

That's the latest scoop on me.  School starts for the kids on Monday, and I am unprepared.  We have everything but shoes for the 13 year old.  To be fair, she kept saying she had shoes.  She can't find them.  We need lunch stuff for the 15 year old since her school doesn't have meals.  Uniforms are bought, school supplies are bought.  We actually are ready.  I don't want to get up at 6:30!  Nooooooo.  Eh, I'll live.

Your turn to tell me what's up in your world!

What The Heck

Yesterday was the one year anniversary of my mastectomy.  Last year I was hopped up on pain meds, thankful that my tumor wasn't an aggressive cancer.  So what did I do to celebrate?  I had two teeth removed.  Once again I was hopped up on pain meds.   I really know how to party, let me tell you.

It's amazing how much damage my health issues, stacked with stress, have caused to my mouth.  GERD/reflux destroyed my back teeth.  Sadly, I've had some crappy dentists, so they always took a "wait and see" approach.  That doesn't exactly work with teeth.  There is no healing going to happen where cavities are concerned.  I imagine there is no money in fixing things early on.  So now I again try to fix it.  It's great that they can actually save a lot of my teeth.  I thought I would lose a lot more than two.  Next week starts extensive fillings.  Again, good times.  Hopefully I'll be able to eat one day. 

The 15 and 13 year olds are going to be in a summer production of The Music Man.  They are very excited about it.  Especially since it's also an acting workshop.  They'll learn how to do auditions in a better way.  With luck it will help them to get actual parts in future productions.  If nothing else, they get to hang with some friends.

What are your summer plans?  I need ideas of things to do with the kids.  Preferably nothing too expensive.  Give me some ideas!

Have a great Thursday!

Okay

"How can you let them go?  My ex is awful, I wouldn't 'make' my kids go over there.  I can't believe you let them go."  Really?  Maybe because I love my kids.  My kids love their dad.  I let them see him as often as is possible for them and him.  He's just being a dad.  There is no evil going on.  They hang out.  Sometimes they play board games.  I more often than not get pictures of them all (including said father) having a good time doing this or that.  Guess what?  It also gives me a break, making me a better mom. 

My ex husband and I are adults.  We put our kids first.  A good chunk of the time I am over there, too.  Our visitation decree is no longer enforceable since we've both moved out of that state and not done anything in the new one.  Are we worried?  Nope.  Again, grown ups.  The kids come first.  I get that some parents are abusive.  That's a whole different situation.  If you simple don't like your ex, or you're hella bitter, get over yourself.  It's so much less stressful to just roll with it.  I have full custody of my kids.  The only time they haven't been able to see their dad is during illness, bad weather, or there was something important going on.  My kids are better off because of our arrangement, and we are happier parents.  Go figure.

I'm sad about the burning of Notre Dame.  I had a friend get bitchy because people of money donated a bunch for restoration.  He thinks insurance and the Pope should cover it, and that money should go to the poor.  Well, okay.  Nobody made them donate.  They decided it was a worthy cause.  I don't however, believe that the money should be side tracked for the poor.  For two reasons, actually.  1) that isn't where the donator wanted the money to go.  Pretty sure wealthy people already help the poor.  2) donations like that rarely actually go to said poor.  The only way to be sure that happens is to physically hand it to a poor person.  I don't see said friend doing that.  So, should I ever win the lottery, I'll donate in his name rather than give him any.  That's what is right, right?  I don't believe that you should tell people where their money has to go just because they have more than you do.  And yes, they actually DO pay their "fair share" in taxes.  They get the same right offs that everybody else gets.  Their tax bracket is higher.  They also put way mire money into the economy.  Stop being angry about your lack and do something about it. 

What are the signs of past stroke?  I am having serious memory issues as of late.  It's really starting to scare me a little.  Grasping for words.  I've also noticed that on my worst memory days I wake up exceptionally exhausted.  Not really sleepy, just exhausted.  Maybe I'm stressed.  I don't think things are any more hectic than normal.  This is when I wish my primary care person gave a damn.  I've learned recently that, having had a borderline cancerous tumor removed, I should have had a full body scan to make sure it hadn't spread.  Those borderline ones are sneaky bastards.  Good times, right?  Ugh.

The weather is back to warm, so I'm happy.  Soon it will be hot, and I'm not good with that.  Hence me enjoying this while I can.  Yay! 

So what is everybody doing for Easter?  Staying safe and...?  Let me know!

Sheesh

Never let the Universe know you are in a hurry.  Seriously.  Don't do it.  Ever.  Know how I know?  Let's see, I was running 10 minutes late for work.  The phone rang.  It was CancerCare wanting to set up my 6 month blood work and doctor visit.  In JULY.  Okay.  Made that appointment (and darn, I'll have to take a day off of work because I added it to a day with other appointments) and take off out the door.  Traffic was decent, so at least there was that. I get to work and realize that I forgot my badge.  Through security I go.  Waiting in there is a charter bus full of people taking a tour of the facility.  I have to wait until they get situated.  The weird part is I still was set up and ready to go on time.  Thankfully I didn't freak, but wow.

A very dear friend of mine passed away last year.  Her house is now on the market.  Two points: 1) it's in a decent neighborhood, 2) it's tiny as hell.  My issues with it being small are short lived.  Eventually my kids will move out.  It would be perfect for me at that point.  I want to go look inside.  It has attic storage, but you never know, maybe it can be made into a bedroom.  There is also basement space.  I should just make the appointment.  What would you do? 

Happy Spring (Finally)

It has been amazingly beautiful outside. I don't say that often, as it generally to weathery outside for me.  I would love to sit and enjoy a good day, but I either get too hot or too cold.  Then there are the bugs.  Don't even get me started in what happens to me if I get in the sun.  But lately it's been enjoyable out. I wish it could stay like this.  Living in the midwest means it's going to eventually go sideways, which makes me sad.  Oh well.

I'm taking applications for a significant other.  Yeah, I'm only sort of joking about that.  I've been single almost my whole life.  Yes, I was married for 8 years, but it turns out that he was only pretending, so not really.  Anyway, I deserve to be happily coupled up.  I am ready and willing!  Send me your resume.  Or, you know, talk to me.  Whatever happened to that?  Maybe I'm just old. 

My body is not so politely telling me that I am spreading myself too thin.  My priorities have been everybody else, and I'm starting to pay for it.  So. Very. Tired.  If I could just get it through the heads of those around me that I'm not the whipping boy...  Even I couldn't get through that one.  Seriously, I'm considering running away to a secluded locale.  Just me and my bed, coffee, pajamas, and some crafts.  Wow, now I need a vacation.

Speaking of vacations, I need ideas.  The girls and I need stuff to do this summer.  I would like it to be fun but not really expensive.  That's mostly so we can do more than one thing, though I'm not against a big trip.  What have done that isn't an amusement park or water park?  I don't do roller coasters or things that put me in direct sunlight (I am so not kidding when I say it hurts me physically - instant sunburn is not my thing).  I'm thinking about a short Amtrak tour.  The train is always interesting.  Ideas, people!  I need ideas!

Well, I should get to work.  People aren't going to massage themselves.  Well, maybe, but I won't get paid for it.  Have a good one!